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Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Can you do, What You want to do ?


                                                        Can you do, What You want to do ?
 Part -1

A young boy thinking while sitting near the window. Flashes of memory were sweeping before his eyes, his mind all occupied and flooded with the never ending thoughts, engulfing his perception of reality.
Rohan, a prodigy who was born during the time of great sorrow, when his parents were not able to provide food on the table and his younger brother was left alone to cry due to hunger. He survived the era, but instead of putting hard feelings in him, the circumstances made him more humble and insightful. He understood the reality of the world and the secrets of happiness.
One day when he questioned his plight, he asked himself, 'Is this life?'. That question haunted him for day and night. He promised himself that he will become strong to change things around him and will find the answer to that question.
At the age of 10, he got his hands on the withered spiritual book, while he was trying to find something in pile of papers and old books. He started reading, and kept on reading continuously for 3 days without sleeping, locked himself in a room. It filled him with a strange calmness, but there was always something that kept on bothering him, like a splinter in his head. He used to think while he was alone, walking down the streets. His perception changed. The way he used to look at other people changed drastically. He realized that if everybody will do their duty properly, and without any expectation, this world will surely be a better place.
During his early days of school, it was his teacher, Ishan, who first acknowledged his intelligence, and forged the raw stone into a shape. He blessed the child with his guidance and believed in him, motivated him and finally made him an independent person. Life sent many teachers to him to guide him and refine his being. With all the guidance life gave him, he grew up, but still that old childhood memories, that book were still with him. He still used to think about all that, but life changed. At 20, his responsibilities increased, his duties increased, things really changed or is it just all inside his brain? He managed things well. Helping his parents and taking care of everybody around him were the things which gave him little happiness. Those time of sorrows were now gone, but still something was missing.
One fine day, Rohan was sitting in his garden, and talking to a small sapling that was growing in the small vase, struggling just like him to grow up, but unlike him, it was getting adequate sunlight and nourishment. Rohan slowly whispered, "I used to look up in the sky and see those clouds floating without any worries. The light breeze and those grayish cloud used to clear up my doubts, and my mind. But you see, the weather has changed, now no clouds just scorching heat and strong winds, which will burn both you and me, but don't worry I will take care of you." He sighed and looked up again to the sky, a big yellow ball of fire glistening all over, mocking over the green meadows and challenging everybody to survive in such an adverse conditions. He slowly got up and went to his bedroom. The room was dark and full of cigarette smoke, but that was more like a scent to Rohan. Last time he cleaned his room was 3 months back when his friends visited him. This space was enough for him and his thoughts. Most of the time, it was all together the same question,"Is this life?" With his heavy mind, those heavy footsteps approached towards the untidy bed, with dirty bed sheets and a pillow on the leg side of the bed. He threw himself on the bed, and his mind began to wander around as always.
"Can I do, what I want to do?".

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

A thought, provoked again



A thought which was dormant in me from quite a long time, suddenly woke from a post I read recently. It was a post from a young boy who dream big and want to mark his name in this vast world.

Earlier version of the same thought:
April, 2007
Circumstances may bring uncertain ups and downs in the life, but the art is to remain what you are, keeping a slight space for changes in your life. I used to enjoy life with zeal and enthusiasm, but now urge for more has captured me. Have I changed?
I have to be same,
I have to do what I am meant to do,
I have a purpose in life and I should go for it,
I will keep this fire burning in me, until it takes me to the heights,
I am not meant for Wasting time on worldly illusions and beautiful faces. I have to reach somewhere. The life I got is not so cheap that it will vanish in the daily race for food , shelter and clothing. I have that thing in me, which can take to success. I can change the courses of rivers and bloom flowers in the desert. Yes, I can. Fulfilling other's expectations has slowed me down. More I try to fulfill it, more it widens its mouth. Some expectations are far beyond my capabilities even. Some are just for others happiness.

When I think about the same thing, I feel delighted that not much have changed in me. I have been able to successfully restore myself after all those thunderstorms, cool breezes.
the current version of the same thought will be somewhat different. I would say a bit more polished with maturity and experience and patience.
I am here, because of my past choices and circumstances. The events irreversibly turned me or I should say, taught me various things. The will power and the determination is now a bit loosened, but not the desire and urge to do something and mark my name. I have learned to learn from both favorable and unfavorable circumstances. I have become more flexible to situation(i don't know that's a good or a bad thing).
But surely, I am not indulged in wasting my life in the race. I have learned from the intellectual people, that keep on doing your work with full vigor and enthusiasm, but forget the results and don't get attached to it. That way you can give your best shot. Enjoy the work and don't think about the selfish motives in it. I acquired certain very particular skill set, which I should use for the upliftment of the humanity. Now the definitions of words used earlier has been changed. Marking the name, no longer includes getting prizes, recognition and definitely not money, now it means the remembrance of the name after the death, number of smiles on people's faces, number of times helping the helpless. It doesn't mean, I am going to leave everything and join an NGO. I am doing it being at my place, with my capabilities. It's like a farmer growing crops to feed people, a teacher teaching small children and a computer engineer developing a software to predict rain, all of them from different background and have different skill set, but they all are contributing in their own way.
Now indulging in the worldly illusions, means not getting into petty tensions and fulfilling the stupid expectations.
But now I know, the difference between duties and fulfilling the expectations, now I can make a demarcation between what I should do and what others want me to do.

It's this urge to learn more and more. it's this predominant characteristic of learning new things, exploring the world which is so vast and filled with so much wonderful things and phenomena. This was the reason of this thought, of this desire to do more and make a change.
I can remember a scene from the famous movie "A beautiful mind", where John Nash was asked, "what do you see, John?", to which he replied, "Recognition", his thesis advisor adds to this, "Well, Try seeing accomplishments".

Now with time, I learned that,
Accomplishments leads to recognition and that creates a mark which will always be remembered and will bring success with it.