Society and a common boy....Part -2

After all these definitions now we are in condition to discuss about this topic.
First talking about our daily observations, one who uses the Western commodities and norms regularly is considered as advanced. For status, people are ready to do almost anything. And in turn society has placed their norms on people. I am supposed to go to the club in party wear, who decided that norm! Paul Sweeney argued quite correctly, " How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?". If a man kills another man, he will surely be punished and even in every religion this is considered as sin. But if the same man kills 20 other men on the war front, he will be awarded. Similarly killing someone for self-defense is not considered as sin. So basically the idea of norms and duties changes with the place and the circumstances.  In the early 19 century there were notorious bands of robbers in India called thugs; they thought it their duty to kill any man they could and take away his money; the larger the number of men they killed, the better they thought they were. That was right for them. Therefore we see that it is not the thing done that defines a duty. To give an objective definition of right or wrong is thus entirely impossible. Yet there is the subjective side.
                          The highest form of duty(right or wrong) is like worship. Do your duty towards your parents, do your duty for your wife, children, society and if everything went well, you will be at peace. But the problem with this statement is that it doesn’t apply to modern era, where if you are following this philosophy, you are only one following. This philosophy undoubtedly can make this world a better place if everyone follows it. If a man fulfills his duties for his children and his wife, if his son fulfills his duties towards his father and his mother, if his mother is fulfilling her duties for both of them, the family will surely be at peace and happiness will prevail. But even if a single person doesn’t follow it, the idea flies away. But I forgot to mention the last but most important line ,”When a duty is done, no expectation in return”.
"Society is one vast conspiracy for carving one into the kind of statue likes, and then placing it in the most convenient niche it has."-Randolph Bourne
In the following paragraph one can treat moral as right and immoral as wrong, it wouldn't make much of a difference.
Human society is a graded organisation. We all know about morality, and we all know about duty, but at the same time we find that in different countries the significance of morality varies greatly. What is regarded as moral in one country may in another be considered perfectly immoral. For instance, in one country cousins may marry; in another, it is thought to be very immoral; in one, men may marry their sisters-in-law; in another, it is regarded as immoral; in one country people may marry only once; in another, many times; and so forth. Similarly, in all other departments of morality, we find the standard varies greatly.
                     According to KarmaYoga, "Every man should take up his own ideal and endeavour to accomplish it. That is a surer way of progress than taking up other men's ideals, which he can never hope to accomplish. For instance, we take a child and at once give him the task of walking twenty miles.Either the little one dies, or one in a thousand crawls the twenty miles, to reach the end exhausted and half-dead. That is like what we generally try to do with the world. All the men and women, in any society, are not of the same mind, capacity, or of the same power to do things; they must have different ideals, and we have no right to sneer at any ideal. Let every one do the best he can for realising his own ideal. Nor is it right that I should be judged by your standard or you by mine. The apple tree should not be judged by the standard of the oak, nor the oak by that of the apple. To judge the apple tree you must take the apple standard, and for the oak, its own standard."                                         
     In India there was a very old custom for princesses to choose husbands in this way. Each princess had certain ideas of the sort of man she wanted for a husband. Some would have the handsomest man, others would have only the most learned, others again the richest, and so on. All the princes of the neighbourhood put on their bravest attire and presented themselves before her. The princess was taken round on a throne, in the most splendid array, and looked at and heard about them. If she was not pleased with what she saw and heard, she said to her bearers, "Move on," and no more notice was taken of the rejected suitors. If, however, the princess was pleased with any one of them, she threw a garland of flowers over him and he became her husband.
Try to practise this today !! I can't even imagine what will happen. Earlier what was correct has now been changed. Now at someplace girls are not even asked about their opinion for marriages. They are just made to sit on the mandap and do as their parents will tell them and then follow the instructions of her husband for rest of their life.
                                Now lets dig it deeper, if a Christian finds a piece of beef before him and does not eat it to save his own life, or will not give it to save the life of another man, he is sure to feel that he has not done his duty. But if a Hindu dares to eat that piece of beef or to give it to another Hindu, he is equally sure to feel that he too has not done his duty; the Hindu's training and education make him feel that way. When it comes to marriage in our society, the conflicts are seen, the norms framed by society comes into picture. Parents are willing to send their child to foreign countries, to live their lives as they want, but as they are nubile and ready for marriage, they are supposed to follow the social norms.
Still the question remains what is right and what is wrong and who decides this? Society decides it all for a person, then the idea of free will is partially gone. There is a code attached to every single place, thing or time. It's not a revolt, I was just trying to figure out the quote "Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself". I guess the debate continues.

Society and a common boy...., Part-1

This part mainly provides a definition and the basic understanding for the upcoming part. In part-II the complete debate will take place about the social norms and a common person.

The society in which we live determines everything from the food we eat to the choices we make. The word society actually comes from the latin root socius, meaning“companion” or “being with others.” A society consists of people who share a territory, who interact with each other, and who share a culture. Some societies are, in fact, groups of people united by friendship or common interests. Our respective societies teach us how to behave, what to believe, and how we’ll be punished if we don’t follow the laws or customs in place. But sometimes society decides so much that it conflicts with the personal choices and one are supposed to be bound to follow the norms.

Doesn’t that question the word “Free will”? Doesn’t that questions one’s independence?

Sociologists study the way people learn about their own society’s cultures and how they discover their place within those cultures. They also examine the ways in which people from differing cultures interact and sometimes clash—and how mutual understanding and.

First question arises is "What Is a Society"?

A society is a group of people with shared territory, interaction, and culture. Some societies are made up of people who are united by friendship or common interests. Some societies are merely social groups, two or more people who interact and identify with one another.

Culture is a defining element of a society.

Now we arive at the very important point "Norms"

Norms are basically the guidelines, standards of behavior that change depending on context and location. The four types of norms are folkways, mores, laws, and taboos.

Before going into it for detail, let’s discuss some points.

Different settings: Wherever we go, expectations are placed on our behavior. Even within the same society, these norms change from setting to setting.

Example: The way we are expected to behave in church differs from the way we are expected to behave at a party, which also differs from the way we should behave in a classroom.

Different countries: Norms are place-specific, and what is considered appropriate in one country may be considered highly inappropriate in another.

Example: In some African countries, it’s acceptable for people in movie theaters to yell frequently and make loud comments about the film. In the United States, people are expected to sit quietly during a movie, and shouting would be unacceptable.

Different time periods: Appropriate and inappropriate behavior often changes dramatically from one generation to the next. Norms can and do shift over time.

Example: In the United States in the 1950s, a woman almost never asked a man out on a date, nor did she pay for the date. While some traditional norms for dating prevail, most women today feel comfortable asking men out on dates and paying for some or even all of the expenses.

Norm Categories

Sociologists have separated norms into four categories: folkways, mores, laws, and taboos.

Folkway: A folkway is a norm for everyday behavior that people follow for the sake of convenience or tradition. People practice folkways simply because they have done things that way for a long time. Violating a folkway does not usually have serious consequences.

Example: Holding the door open for a person right behind you is a folkway.

Mores :A more (pronounced MORE-ay) is a norm based on morality, or definitions of right and wrong. Since mores have moral significance, people feel strongly about them, and violating a more usually results in disapproval.

Example: Parents who believe in the more that only married people should live together will disapprove of their son living with his girlfriend. They may consider their son’s action a violation of the moral guidelines for behavior.

Laws: A law is a norm that is written down and enforced by an official agency. Violating a law results in a specific punishment.

Example: It is illegal in most countries to drive a car while drunk, and a person violating this law may get cited for driving under the influence (DUI), which may bring a fine, loss of driver’s license, or even jail time.

Taboos: A taboo is a norm that society holds so strongly that violating it results in extreme disgust. The violator is often considered unfit to live in that society.

The worst of all norms is Taboo, which allows few people who frames the taboo, to control the society in the way they want.

Example: In some Muslim cultures, eating pork is taboo because the pig is considered unclean

STATUS: the word that come across very often, decides maximum of our behavioral actions. We buy things to maintain status; we follow certain sets of rules to maintain the status, we work hard in offices to raise our status.

What exactly is this status?

Most people associate status with the prestige of a person’s lifestyle, education, or vocation. According to sociologists, status describes the position a person occupies in a particular setting. We all occupy several statuses and play the roles that may be associated with them. A role is the set of norms, values, behaviors, and personality characteristics attached to a status. An individual may occupy the statuses of student, employee, and club president and play one or more roles with each one.

Example: Status as student

Role 1: Classroom: Attending class, taking notes, and communicating with the professor

Role 2: Fellow student: Participating in study groups, sharing ideas, quizzing other students

Status as employee

Role 1: Warehouse: Unloading boxes, labeling products, restocking shelves

Role 2: Customer service: Answering questions, solving problems, researching information

At any given time, the individual described above can also occupy the statuses of athlete, date, confidant, or a number of others, depending on the setting. With each change of status, the individual plays a different role or roles.

Status and Roles

We all occupy several statuses, or positions in particular settings, and play roles based on them.

Example: A working father is expected at work on time but is late because one of his children is sick. His roles as father and employee are then in conflict. A role for his father status dictates that he care for his sick child, while a role for his employee status demands that he arrive at work on time.

When we are expected to fulfill more than one role at the same time, we can experience role conflict. 

Culture is everything made, learned, or shared by the members of a society. Although cultures vary dramatically, they all are composed of material culture (physical things) and nonmaterial culture (intangible aspects such as beliefs and values).

Example: Americans tend to value technological advancement, industrialization, and the accumulation of wealth. An American, applying his or her own standards to a culture that does not value those things, may view that culture as “primitive” or “uncivilized.” Such labels are not just statements but judgments: they imply that it is better to be urbanized and industrialized than it is to carry on another kind of lifestyle.

.....Continued