Making excuses

After any silly mistake or a big blunder, mind starts to look for excuses, consciously or unconsciously. But why? According to Louie Anderson, “I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.” And if one can add to this that I will not repeat it in life and will try to help in healing the wounds, I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. No, instead we make excuses, justifying our deeds, logically or illogically. In psychology, this is called rationalization, a defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner in order to avoid any true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable – or even admirable and superior – by plausible means. This effect is may be to hide oneself from the feeling of shame or guilt, which either way will be going to haunt. However in contrast, there is Intellectualization, another defense mechanism where reasoning is used to block confrontation with an unconscious conflict and its associated emotional stress where thinking is used to avoid feeling. It involves removing one's self, emotionally, from a stressful event. Intellectualization may accompany, but is different from rationalization, the pseudo-rational justification of irrational acts. Intellectualization and rationalization together forms an extremely dangerous combination, which lies in the hands of his master, but later makes his master its slave. Let’s talk in terms of time, in the time we try to justify our actions, making excuses and framing them, if we can move ahead and can amend the situation. That will be better utilization of time.  In exams, when we are unable to perform well, excuses are made-time was less, examiner was shrewd, questions were tough, but when we perform well, credit goes to us, we studied so we performed. Isn’t it unfair !!

 

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Making-Excuses

Meri Jung

ye jung hai apni kisi begaane ki nahi
ye jung hai imtehaano me khud ko aazmaane ki
khud ki parakh karke khud ko apni nazroo me uthane ki
ye jung hai apni galtiyoo ko sudharne ki

 

ab tak jee rhe the, jungloo me bhatakte
ab takat aayi hai sapna sach kar dikhani ki
ab zarurat hai arjun ko pratyancha chadhane ki,
abhimanyu ko chakravyuuh tod bahar aane ki

 

behakaane k liye duniya,sawaarne k liye bus kuch
ab zarurat hai unhi kuch ko pehchanne ki
teer k us paar jaa bhaithe panchi ko
ab zarurat hai apne gharaunde wapas aane ki

ek jeevan chand saanse aur ek baar aankhe moondna
yahi kahani chalti aayi hai is kathor zamane ki
par ab ye jung hai kuch naya kar dikhane ki

 

ye jung hai apni, kisi begaane ki nahi
ye jung hai meri khud se, duniye se nahi
ye jung hai khud kuch kar dikhane ki
khud sawarke khud ko saabit kar pehchaan banane ki

Mistakes...

Mistake is an error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness. The outcome can be neglible or enormous. But after that, what? Once something is done, reasons behind it doesn't matter, the result that appears after it matters. In my opinion, a man must be big enough to admit his mistakes and strong enought to correct them as mistakes are portals of discovery. It is the high form of self-respect to admit the errors and make amends for them. To make mistakes is an error in judgement but amending it after being discovered shows the frimity of character. People do make mistakes and I think they should be punished. But they should be forgiven and given the opportunity for a second chance. We are human beings. We go for perfection without realizing that perfection is a fantasy however imperfection is reality. It is a hard thing to let go of mistakes we've made and sins. God wants us to do that because He knows the guilt and the condemnation will keep us from becoming who He has created us to be. Some mistakes are neccessary in life as it is not our mistakes that define who we are; it is how we recover from those mistakes. No man chooses evil because it is evil, he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. Lesson one should learn in life, is for every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth. Because once the trust is lost, everything is lost as someone truly said to be trusted is a greatest compliment. The most important lesson that I have learned is to trust God in every circumstance. Lots of times we go through different trials and following God's plan seems like it doesn't make any sense at all. God is always in control and he will never leave us.