Obsession or racism !!

I saw bunch of girls waiting outside the beauty parlor for their turn. I tried to see the glimpse what’s going inside. Shades of velvety pink blush roll over a girl’s cheeks. The other one was getting a facial massage. After coming out, she holds up a mirror and inspects the results. Behind the kiosk, a clothing and lingerie store displays trendy fashions on mannequins with blond hair, blue eyes and milky white complexions. I wondered why there is a race among girls to look fairer. I pondered over this a little.

Even the advertisements and store posters that use Indian faces promote a look that is unattainable for most Indians, Long, silky straight hair; a tall, thin body; and, most importantly, a fair complexion. "Being white is the preference?"

                                 I grew up listening to my Grandmother tell me “when you grow up, “Tere liya Gori Paree Jaisi dulhan Layenge” or in other words when you grow up we will get a Fair beautiful bride for you”. As far back as I can remember, a woman's complexion has been a very big deal in my native land. When I was a child, my aunt forbade me to play outside lest I turn several shades darker in the sun. The same aunt lamented after my trip to Melbourne that the strong sun had made me "black." Many Indians feel their country's disturbing obsession with fairness has been compounded in recent years with the invasion of European and American retail outlets and widespread access to information via the Internet.  

Matrimonial ads in India -- arranged marriages are still the way many young people choose to wed -- often read like this: "Seeking match for beautiful, tall, fair girl ...

And those women who are the norm in India--that is, not light-skinned -- are targeted by a $400 million skin-whitening-cream industry. It began years ago with a product called Fair & Lovely.

Some people blame the industry for making the problem worse. It doesn't matter that skin creams don't really make you two shades lighter in a matter of a week. Women keep buying the stuff, believing there might be a chance. Pria Warrick, a former Miss India who now runs a finishing school for women in Delhi, says India is still struggling to get over its colonial past. "We, of course, in India are very obsessed with being very fair. I think it's something the British left us with," Warrick says. She also blames the infiltration of U.S. culture for making Indian society so focused on physical beauty. "American culture places a lot of importance on looks," she says. Indians stand at a crossroads, Warrick says. "How much do we pick up from the West?"

Some Indians are trying to reverse the movement to be fair. Actor Nandita Das has lent her face to the "Dark is Beautiful" campaign, trying to foment change. "The point is do we want to capitalize this prejudice and lack of self worth and further perpetuate it," Das says in the campaign, "or do we want to address it in a way and empower more women and make them feel good in the way they are?"

As I grew up I realized the futility and malarkey of fair skin and rejected it outright yet overwhelming number of Indians have yet to change their attitudes, whether it’s the ludicrous TV commercial that portrays a dark girl winning a singing competition to the absurd commercial of a girl winning a cycling competition and yes it’s no longer restricted to females. One of our leading Bollywood star endorses a men’s fairness cream which preaches that being fair can get you not only girls but also jobs.

But what came as a huge jolt to me and many like minded people was the launch of fairness cream for other body parts. I wondered is this for real? Can some people take their obsession for fair skin to this level?

There is a clear kind of discrimination being carried out across over society and we do not have to go far one just needs to open Matrimonial column of any news paper to read “Wanted tall fair beautiful girl for our son” and more importantly how many of us would indulge sanctimonious rhetoric and actually practice what we preach?

With all the development and progress that we are so proud of in 2013 sadly we have not yet managed to remove the shackles of medieval mindset. Building bridges and Rockets is achievement but real achievement and progress would only be achieved when we get rid of such racist mindset within our society unfortunately we still have to go a long way to achieve that.

It was that many Indian people (mostly women) are so obsessed with fair skin they'll go to the ends of the Earth to lighten theirs. They believe dark skin is ugly and light skin guarantees more opportunities in life. For example, "in newspaper advertisements through which brides and bridegrooms are sought, fair skin is ranked as a more desirable attribute than a university degree"

Quick background on skin color issues in India: Indian people from North India generally have lighter skin than those from South India because of different climates. The point is that the average Indian person is not as light-skinned as models, celebrities and Bollywood actresses. Many sources claim that the fascination with lighter skin stems from India's caste system. People from the higher classes were lighter and those from the lower classes were darker because they did a lot of manual labor under the sun. So lighter skin was associated with wealth and power. The same mindset carried on after India had been colonized by Britain. Again, the ruling class was light-skinned. Many say the situation in India is much the same today, even with the British gone and the caste system officially abolished.

My opinion about using skin-lightening products is mixed. On one hand, I believe everyone is free to do whatever they want as long as they're not hurting anyone else. I therefore neither support fairness creams nor do i criticize them. If they produce good results that make people happy, that's amazing. However, it's sad the opinion that only fair skin is beautiful is so deeply ingrained into the culture. This means skin lightening is often not what Indian people do for themselves. They're pressured into it by society.

Foreign cosmetic brands' fairness creams have only a small market share in India. The most popular is a domestic brand called Fair and Lovely, notorious for this advertisement:

The advert was known as "the air hostess ad".
It showed a young, dark-skinned girl's father lamenting he had no son to provide for him, as his daughter's salary was not high enough - the suggestion being that she could neither get a better job or get married because of her dark skin.

The girl then uses the cream, becomes fairer, and gets a better-paid job as an air hostess - and makes her father happy.
What the hell!

Way to convince people skin color is only relevant when it comes to judging beauty !

It bothers me to see magazines suggesting people have to change something about their physical appearance or personality. Do people think they should lose weight before stumbling upon dieting tips in a magazine or after?

                        There's a whole lot of money in first showing you dream skin, dream weight, dream closet, dream spouse, dream lifestyle and then advertising whatever is supposed to help you achieve these things (but it really won't).

In the ancient scriptures, epics, or folk tales, the good character is always pictured as being fair in complexion, suggesting that the fair are fair dealing and the dark complexioned has evil intentions. Add to that a history peppered with colonization by lighter-skinned invaders from the west, inequalities introduced by the caste system and 200 years of British rule, and it becomes quite clear why exactly the concept of fairness being superior is embedded deep within the Indian psyche.

During the British Raj, the idea that those with pale skin were superior came with the packaging. It was never spoken about and there were no propaganda campaigns – it was just understood. The very fact that you were being ruled by fair skinned people meant that they were superior to the natives – you looked up to the white man. Historically in the Indian subcontinent, fair skin was equated with the richer classes and indicated a high social standing. Dark skin has always been a sign of being a laborer, as the skin darkened due to long exposure to the sun or while farming or road sweeping. The obsession with fairness has been also linked to the caste system and not completely a result or byproduct of colonial rule. Thus, fair skin is associated with purity, high class and aristocracy, whereas fair color has been reduced to a ladder to success and happiness, such that even Men no longer want to be ‘tall, dark and handsome!’
                                      With Fair and Handsome creams in the market they want to be fair too. The skin lightening industry generates high profits and revenues from Indian subcontinent; this makes it quite obvious that India’s obsession with fair complexion is still persistent. Fairness in India is considered to be clean and beautiful, and the obsession for fair skin can be seen in various walks of life be it a child born in India-the first question asked by the relative is whether the child is fair? Rather than asking about his/her health. Apart from this the demand for fair complexion is high in marriage market, a typical matrimonial advertisement in India would read “looking for fair, slim and tall professional for fair, slim and homely girl (age: 24)”. In addition to this the advertisement of fairness products connects fairness with achieving other personal goals, such as marriage, success, empowerment, job opportunities, and confidence. Women being aware of the culturally determined advantage of being fair and have they made effort to look fair.

                                        Harley Street dermatologist Dr Aamer Khan has seen a rise in women suffering from serious skin conditions as a result of trying to bleach their skin in an attempt to look fairer said,“I see patients with hypo-pigmentation (loss of pigment) resulting in white patches and hyper-pigmentation leading to darker areas – both are caused by skin bleaching agents. People buy these creams that offer false hopes, but the fact is, there is no safe way to whiten your skin. There needs to be more stringent moderating of these products, as it is a very serious problem.”

On the other hand Anil Chopra, CEO of Indian beauty and fashion giant Lakme Lever said, “Skin tone is becoming far less relevant. Just look at India fashion week – more than half the girls are on the duskier side. I sit in on the judging panel ever year and not once have I heard a comment about skin color”.
 While India's first supermodel, Lakshmi Menon Bangalore-born beauty quit India three years ago at the age of 24. "Back home very few people wanted to hire me. It became clear to me that my skin colour was not in demand," recalls Menon who has the deep brown shade of a typical Bangalorean. The misconception that darker skinned Indians are somehow inferior and less desirable than their fairer counterparts has existed for centuries, and there are no major changes in the mentality of Indians with regard to giving preferring fair skin. India's obsession with fair skin is well documented: in 1978, Unilever launched Fair & Lovely cream, which has  subsequently spawned numerous whitening face cleansers, shower gels and even vaginal washes that claim to lighten the surrounding skin. In 2010, India's whitening-cream market was worth $432m, according to a report by market researchers ACNielsen, and was growing at 18% per year. Last year, Indians reportedly consumed 233 tonnes of skin-whitening products, spending more money on them than on Coca-Cola.

                            Cricket players and Bollywood stars regularly endorse these products. But now the film star Nandita Das has taken a stance against the craze and given her support to the Dark is Beautiful campaign which challenges the belief that success and beauty are determined by skin color. "I want people to be comfortable in their own skin and realize that there is more to life than skin color," she says, adding that an Indian paper had written "about my support for the campaign and then lightened the photo of me that went alongside it".

While she agrees that there is a long history behind the obsession with skin color, owing to caste and culture, she thinks the current causes should be targeted first. "Indians are very racist. It's deeply ingrained. But there is so much pressure by peer groups, magazines, billboards and TV adverts that perpetuate this idea that fair is the ideal," she says.

Das has often faced directors and makeup artists trying to lighten her when she plays the role of an educated, upper-class woman. "They always say to me: 'Don't worry, we will lighten you, we're really good at it,' as a reassurance. It's perpetuating a stereotype that only fair-skinned women can be educated and successful."

In 2005, the cosmetics company Emami launched Fair & Handsome for men, with an ad featuring the Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan tossing a tube of whitening cream to a hopeful young fan, which the Dark is Beautiful campaign is seeking to have withdrawn. "Shah Rukh Khan is saying that to be successful you have to be fair," says Das. "Don't these people have any kind of conscience? You can't be naive; you know what kind of impact you have and yet you send out the message that says: 'Forget about working hard, it's about skin color.'"

                                                       In India, a country where the majority of the population is dark-skinned, there is a widely held belief that dark complexions are inferior to fair ones. This prejudice manifests itself in everything from hiring practices that favor light-skinned employees to matrimonial ads that list fairness as a non-negotiable characteristic of the future bride or groom. In the media, light-skinned actors and models are in high demand, while dark-skinned performers are rarely seen on screen. The message is clear: fair skin represents beauty and success, and as a result Indians are keen consumers of products that promise to lighten skin.

While racism runs deep in India's history, its roots intertwined with caste and colonialism, in today's India, it finds expression in consumer behavior and corporate advertising.

This uncomfortable fact has spawned dueling ad campaigns on the skin-bleaching front. In March of this year, an organization called Women of Worth launched a "Dark is Beautiful" campaign to draw attention to the effects of racial prejudice in India. The print ad features the actress Nandita Das urging women to throw out their fairness creams and abandon the belief that dark skin is ugly. Meanwhile, in early July, the cosmetics company Emami released a competing television ad starring Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan. In the ad, Khan tosses a tube of fairness cream to a young fan, telling him that fairness is the secret to success in life. In response, the "Dark is Beautiful" campaign filed a petition on Change.org asking Emami to suspend the ad on the grounds that it is discriminatory

Online sources:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/25/world/asia/indian-ideal-of-beauty/
http://indiaopines.com/india-fair-complexion/
http://listdose.com/top-10-most-racist-countries-in-the-world-2/
 http://www.ndtvmi.com/b6/dopesheets/harpreet.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_based_on_skin_color
http://www.dressful.com/4413/vogue-india-racism-only-light-skin-is-beautiful
http://www.pinkvilla.com/beauty/skin-care/my-experience-racism-india-and-usa
http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/09/19/miss-america-is-too-dark-to-be-miss-india/
http://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2013/aug/14/indias-dark-obsession-fair-skin
http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/article/TMG8409583/Indias-models-accuse-fashion-industry-of-racism.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2325502/Map-shows-worlds-racist-countries-answers-surprise-you.html
http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/08/can-advertising-change-indias-obsession-with-fair-skin/278367/
http://listdose.com/top-10-most-racist-countries-in-the-world-2/

Lord Shiva...a symbol and a way to lead better life

One must be amazed why this description of Lord Shiva.

Read it to find out.

Lord Shiva is not only just Hindu deity or a ‘murti’ in a temple, or just some character in Hindu mythology. He is the way of life, he is the teacher, he is a symbol which shouts out the morals to be followed for better life. His ways teaches a very philosophy that I think is applicable for today's life. He at every step, consumed the evil and prevented others from getting affected. He showed the path how to correct the evil and how to become the master of one. His form symbolizes the highest possible master of all the evils, either it's lust, power or anything. He taught a simple way of living with high morality and mental state, where one can see above all attachments what is right and what is wrong. He possess all the power and yet lives a simplest possible life of renunciation. His spiritually stabilized intellect took him beyond time. It teaches how your future actions should not be the outcomes of your past and present assumptions. He creates chaos not to unstabilize but to stabilize the entire existence. His anger like a real man is feared. His devotion and attachment to his wife is a simple symbol of how one can be attached to the worldly materialistic thing without being actually attached to them. If you have power to renounce what you have, you are actually the master of yourself. Nowadays we are so much attached to worldy things thinking that we are masters, what to say I cannot live without my phone for a single day, in actual makes us the slave of these things. I was fascinated by the story once a priest told me about MahaShivRatri, that all the poisonous eatables are dedicated to Lord Shiva on the occasion of MahaShivRatri in order to save the world from their harmful effects, for which I used to wonder why in the name of God, one would do that. We offer fruits and fascinating things to god in order to please them, but why one would offer poisonous eatables to Lord Shiva. But now i think i got the answer!

He is a consummate dancer drawing his energy from mother earth and then in the end returnig to it.

Let's start.

                                                                Om Namah Shivay

Shiva is married to the goddess Uma, who represents perishable matter (prakriti). The power of destruction is always associated with destructible matter, since this power can manifest only when perishable matter is available.

                                          Lord Shiva is also known as the eternal Lord of Meditation. With a serenely peaceful countenance, he sits in deep meditation on the top of the world on Mount Kailas in the Himalayas, facing south. The meditating Shiva is seen against the background of the snow-capped Himalayas. The white snow represents the absolute purity of His mind. His posture symbolizes the ideal of harmony and poise experienced by a realized person. In that state of perfection, He is in total· harmony with the external environment and happenings.

A seeker who wishes to meditate upon and reach the peak of human perfection must first endeavor to maintain purity of mind, symbolized by snow. An impure and agitated mind cannot concentrate and meditate upon the Truth. Purity of the mind is obtained by practicing life of harmony in the face of the challenging situations of the world, and by steadily applying oneself thus until one gains subjective poise.

                         A life of harmony is attained by rising above one's limited egocentric, view of life and expanding one's mind so as to accommodate a constant awareness of the totality of the world, the entirety of human kind, and the vastness of the universal problems. A life of harmony brings to one's heart an inward peace and poise. Lord Shiva sitting in meditation is a figurative representation of an ideal "man of poise" who remains ever unaffected by all surrounding disturbances. A "man of poise" is not to be construed as living a life of idle acceptance or unintelligent surrender to external challenges. On the contrary, such a person is dynamic and serves as the leader of all beings. Drawing inspiration from the dynamic silence within, such a person applies a steady mind in the din and roar of the marketplace.

He destroys in order to renew and regenerate. His destruction facilitates the smooth transitions of things and events from one stage to another. He destroys our imperfections in order to ensure our spiritual progress. He destroys our illusions, desires and ignorance. He destroys our evil and negative nature. He destroys our old memories, so that we can move on with the movement of time. He destroys our relationship, attachments, impurities and physical and mental wrong doing, the effect of bad karma, our passions and emotions and many things that stand between us and God as impediments to our progress and inner transformation.

Shiva as Ardhanareeswara
Lord Shiva is said to be half man and half woman. In the full figure of Siva the male and female principles are united. Shiva Linga - the symbol of Lord Shiva which consists of both Lingam (phallus) and yoni (the female organ) represent the totality of his nature and the totality of all created existence. Shiva is the destructive form of the Almighty. As the cycle of destruction and recreation is always in a circle, Shiva’s primary responsibility is maintaining the life cycle. Lord Shiva is also considered to be the most unique of all Hindu gods and also the God of all. A great ascetic, Shiva is the only godhead who is forever in deep meditation, totally absorbed in contemplation in His abode, Kailaasa Mountain in the great Himalaya. Lord Shiva is also said to be inseparable from Shakti - Parvati the daughter of Himavaan - Haimavati. There is no Shiva without Shakti and no Shakti without Shiva, the two are one - or the absolute state of being.
Symbolic Shiva

Lord Shiva is shown either in meditating or in the form of a Dancing God Nataraj where his dance is to the beat and rhythm of creation. He is also shown in sculptures with many hands. One pair of hands, for example, represents the balance between life and death. Shiva is 'tri netra' or three eyed, and is 'neela kantha' - blue-necked (having consumed poison to save the world from destruction). Lord Shiva is also the master of yoga, and the three matted locks on His head signify the ideal of yoga that involves the integration of the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of life.

His ornaments carry a very different meaning and give a deep message. Some of those are discussed below.

Blue neck

In an ancient story from the Puranas, Shiva once drunk some deadly poison that was thrown up by the ocean. The Devas and Asuras were churning the ocean in quest of the nectar of immortality. The ocean threw up many objects before the nectar appeared, including some deadly poison. The poison was so toxic that it would have killed all the inhabitants of the earth. Therefore his neck is dark blue, which is the color of the poison. The poison which Shiva drank in order to protect the world’s inhabitants represents all the negativity and evil in the world. In order to help the world progress, a spiritual person must engage with society and its problems. This includes being around society’s negativity and evil tendencies, to prevent them from destroying society. Shiva kept the poison at the level of his neck, because if he let it reach his stomach it would have been harmful. This symbolizes that it is important not to allow this poison to actually affect and harm us – this requires vigilance. It is easy to unknowingly take up negativity if we are surrounded by it, but through vigilance and care this can be avoided. This is the meaning of “keeping the poison at the neck”, whereby it is kept at a level that we can manage without allowing it to poison us.

Unclad Body and Ash

The unclad body symbolizes the transcendental aspect of Lord Shiva. It is also believed in Hinduism that ultimately all creation is destroyed by fire and becomes ash, only to be renewed again in a new cycle. The ash smeared on Lord Shiva’s body signifies that He transcends physical phenomena and is not affected by it.

Third Eye

His right and left eyes are the sun and moon respectively, while His third eye is the eye of wisdom. As His right and left eyes represent His activities in the physical world, the third eye in the middle of His forehead symbolizes spiritual wisdom and power, seeing beyond the apparent and also destroying evil and evil-doers.

Ganga

The holy water of the Ganges also signifies the essential element of ritual purification. By holding the Ganges in his matted hair, Lord Shiva allowed the holy river to traverse the earth and bring its purifying water to humans.

Crescent Moon

Often depicted on Lord Shiva’s head is a crescent moon, representing the cyclical nature of the universe. The waxing and waning of the moon symbolizes the cycle through which creation evolves. Furthermore, since Lord Shiva is the Eternal Reality, He is beyond time and the cycle of creation.

Snake

Lord Shiva is often shown with a snake curled three times around His neck. The three coils of the snake represent the cycle of time – the past, present and future. The snake around Lord Shiva’s neck symbolizes his transcendence over the cycles of creation and time. The right side of the body symbolizes the human activities based upon knowledge, reason and logic. The snake looking towards the right side of the Lord signifies that the Lord's eternal laws of reason and justice preserve natural order in the universe.

Trident

The three-pronged trident known as the Trishul shown with Lord Shiva symbolizes His three fundamental powers, or shakti, of iccha, kriya, and jnana (will, action and knowledge). The trident also represents Lord Shiva’s power to destroy evil and ignorance.

Tiger Skin

Lord Shiva is shown sitting on or wearing a tiger skin. The tiger is the vehicle of Shakti, the Goddess of power and force, and since Lord Shiva is the master of Shakti, He is beyond and above any kind of force. The tiger skin that Lord Shiva wears symbolizes His victory over every force. The tiger also represent lust, and Lord Shiva indicates, by sitting on the tiger skin, that he has conquered lust.

Half-open eyes

When the Lord opens His eyes, a new cycle of creation emerges and when He closes them, the universe dissolves for creation of the next cycle. The half-open eyes convey the idea that creation is going through cyclic process, with no beginning and no end. Lord Shiva is the Master of Yoga, as He uses His yogic power to project the universe from Himself. The half-open eyes also symbolize His yogic posture.

Rudraksha necklace

Rudra also means "strict or uncompromising" and aksha means "eye." Rudraksha necklace worn by the Lord illustrates that He uses His cosmic laws firmly - without compromise - to maintain law and order in the universe. The necklace has 108 beads which symbolize the elements used in the creation of the world.

Nandi

The bull is associated with Shiva and is said to be His vehicle. The bull symbolizes both power and ignorance. Lord Shiva's use of the bull as a vehicle conveys the idea that He removes ignorance and bestows power of wisdom on His devotees. The bull is called Vrisha in Sanskrit. Vrisha also means dharma (righteousness). Thus a bull shown next to Shiva also indicates that He is the eternal companion of righteousness.

An observation

I was always fascinated by the paintings, the way strokes of the brushes changes the mood of the paintings. Every color in a painting has its own significance, brings its own peculiar message. A particular musical note arouses its peculiar emotion in the listener, similarly the colors do. I tried to analysed it explicitly. I took a lens and looked at my own painting. It was made up of small pixels, each pixel having its own identity by when combined together composed a painting. Digging it deeper, I realized its not the identity of the pixel that matters, it's their arrangement that matters. For this I wrote a small MATLAB code, split a picture into small squares and then randomly placed those squares. Picture was all gone, even though pixels were still there. It reminded me of famous John Nash's statement, 'best result in a group comes when everybody works what best for himself and the group'. If I apply same rules to the society I am living it, does it make sense? Each person, a pixel of the society is best in  himself but in a particular arrangement only can make this society beautiful. If each person is a note in himself, then this society can be a beautiful melody. Why it is not? these pixels are not arranged properly or the picture is not drawn properly?
I wrote another program, where a picture was taken and divided into small pixels and then after each second, the pixels are randomly picked and randomly placed. The beautiful picture once was again all gone and with time it grew worse.
I think that's what happened to our society and us. We the pixels chose our places wrongly and distorted the beautiful society. If I do what I want, I will do it nicely without complaining, but by doing, what society tells me to do, I am not the same pixel of the picture anymore.
That's a great problem, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT WE SHOULD DO AND WHAT SOCIETY TELLS US TO DO.
(to be continued...)

Why Blame God For Everything!!

God is like parents, he is there to nourish us. Then he sets us free to find the truth and lead our lives. Just like parents, he doesn't want anything from us, he only knows how to give because there is a happiness in giving and he is the ultimate happiness. He is never responsible for anyone's suffering or mishappenings. It's us who blame for everything. "I dropped my purse somewhere, maybe god is trying to punish me as I forgot to go to temple on Thursday", that's petty.
Let me dig it deeper for you.
We don't want to know the truth that we are enormously powerful, creative children of the Creator; that we are always connected to God and all; and that we are truly very sensitive, loving, and good.
In God's words:
 "If you knew who you were, and you were acting like yourself, you would naturally be responsible for everyone. You would naturally feel love for everyone. You would naturally reach out, and help, and heal."In our current, ego-identified level of consciousness, most of us can hardly face our ordinary human responsibilities, let alone the ultimate responsibility of living as the Godly creatures we truly are.
Furthermore, we don't want to face the IMPLICATIONS of how uncomfortable we REALLY ARE with our ego-driven lifestyle; how much better we actually KNOW than what our behavior suggests; how much it pains us to be selfish; and how many problems it really causes. We're attached to our self-centered ideas, desires, and ways of doing things
It is said, "Know the truth, and the truth will set you free." But, if the price of freedom is to give up our egotistical habits and false ideas which it IS -- WE DON'T WANT the truth that sets us free.It causes us all kinds of problems, but we're attached to it.
Therefore, we feel we can't AFFORD to know the truth about God. We don't want the RESPONSIBILITY of knowing. Now we're getting to the heart of the matter: we don't want to be responsible.
Isn't it obvious that, all around the world, countless people avoid personal responsibility, or minimize it? When things go wrong, we tend to point the finger of blame at everybody ELSE -- and especially at God. We may admit that human beings are responsible to a degree; but usually that means OTHER human beings, rather than, say, oneself.
When bad things happen, we think that God is either wrongly doing them, or wrongly allowing them to be done. We resent God for the sorry state of the world we see. So we ask accusatory questions like these:
Why does God let all these bad things happen?
Why doesn't God make people do the right thing?
Why does God allow people to suffer?
Why won't God let me succeed at this or that?
Why is God always testing me?
    All those questions assume that God has huge responsibility for the troubles of the world -- as well as huge responsibility for our own difficulties.
Where the relationship to God is concerned, it is crucial to admit that negative views of God result directly from our reluctance to take responsibility for difficulties we and other humans create. As long as it exists, that pattern will always foster an unfavorable view of God. To improve our view of God we must upgrade our willingness to take responsibility.
 Even when others say or do things that are hurtful, often we are largely responsible for HOW MUCH those things hurt us. MOST of the negative impact of others' actions results not from the actions themselves, but from the way WE interpret and respond to those actions. For example, somebody makes a thoughtless and offensive remark, and then we spend days hurting ourselves by harboring resentment. Let it go! Honestly, each of us has a MUCH larger share in the creation of our own suffering than we prefer to admit.

The world we see is the world we are creating around ourselves. That world includes not just the lifestyle that we live, but also the people surrounding us, and the way they relate to us. One man works hard to be reliable, and has the happy experience of being trusted, while another earns distrust, and suffers THAT unpleasant experience. A reactive person evokes negative reactions in others; then there are two reactive people -- or a roomful. Conditions deteriorate instantly. Mayhem!
Look around at what man hath wrought:
A bar fight breaks out. Did God create it?
A couple argues. Did God create that argument?A world leader decides to wage war. Did God create that war?
God is not creating those things -- PEOPLE are! And yet, people suffering those experiences will cry, "God, why did You make such a miserable, horrible world?" Poor God! And, poor blaming, irresponsible, disempowered humanity! If people would take responsibility, we'd create differently. Otherwise, we will continue to create the 'cruel world' in which we live.
We seem to have a blind spot that prevents us from seeing the relationship between what we do and what "happens to" us. Could it be that we're covering our eyes with our own hands? For example: A person steals at work, gets caught and sent to jail. The thief complains, "The world is a cruel place -- it jails people." But a wise voice replies, "The world jails THIEVES. You went to jail because you were stealing. You don't do the time if you don't do the crime." If we would admit that, we could get off blame, and onto a MUCH better life.
"The love you take is equal to the love you make."
"We make our bed and we lie in it."Those expressions remind us that we are the creators of what happens in our lives. To understand and accept that principle is to take responsibility -- which is EXACTLY what the ego wants to avoid. So, to make matters worse, we make our bed and we lie ABOUT it
 It's good for us -- really! Any displaced responsibility robs us of a portion of our actual power and control. And in our minds, it makes God and everybody else responsible for our well-being and happiness. Then, when we find ourselves to be miserable -- because it's impossible for God or anyone else to make us happy if we don't do our part -- we feel like victims. We complain that God victimized us, or everybody else victimized us. But the fact is, we have victimized ourselves. We've defaulted from our own, rightful, God-given responsibility.
Just as spouses sit in counseling waiting for one another to change, people sit waiting for God to become less mean; or to stop allowing bad things to happen -- or to make sure more good things happen. But, in fact, we -- the people waiting for God -- hold the steering wheel. And if we are looking to God, or to others, when we should be watching the road, we steer ourselves into a ditch with our own hands.
 Don't say, "They made me feel this way, or act this way." That's blame. Instead, take responsibility! Simply and honestly say, "I have capitulated to culture. I have capitulated to my husband. I have caved in to expectations. I did that. That's my responsibility. I have displaced my why to my mate, to common culture, etc., instead of authentically sourcing my own existence. I need to take my power back; and the only way I can do that is by being who I am, and taking responsibility for what I do."
Then take responsibility! Admit and correct your mistakes; but more than that, start creating BEAUTIFULLY. And do it all in a joyful, loving, Godly way -- as is fitting for a child of God -- not in a reactive, fiercely independent way, as a martyr or a bitter victim would do. (That would still be blaming and harvest all of blame's bad results.) If we would embrace our responsibility in a good spirit, we'd find nothing left to blame God for -- and MUCH to be thankful for.

Love is the highest form of worship, Well said, because it not only removes your pains but also gives you eternal happiness. When you love something deeply, there comes a desire of giving selflessly and through that happiness of giving, one finds eternal happiness. He created modes and means to relax and comfort us but we don't use it.Instead we go for hate and jealousy, which is the antithesis to love and takes us away from the happiness and peace. He loves you, love him back. Try giving compliments to his doings, try appreciating his givings.
This world is full of seekers who would like to see God, but too often, their motivations are related to blame. "I'm glad I finally got to meet You, God, because I've got some grievances ...." Or, "I'm glad I finally got to meet You, God, because I've got a few problems I'm hoping You can fix for me." Relying on God's help is not necessarily a form of blame -- in fact, it is appropriate to depend rightly on God. But dependence on God reflects blame if we put all the responsibility for fixing our problems on God, and take too little responsibility ourselves.
Only if we will stop blaming God can we SEE the beauty of God, and the beauty of ourselves. Our world will not be beautiful until we take responsibility for being beautiful -- as we ARE, as God made us. When we stop blaming God, and start living as we ARE, we will finally see heaven on earth, where heaven really already IS.
Lack of knowledge, pride, selfishness, self-centeredness, lack of understanding, being misled by others and by the devil, and not wanting to take responsibility for their own choices and actions.
It started in the garden, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. What happened was by choice, they chose to believe the lie of satan over the word of God. We still believe lies, and are led astray by our own selfish desires.
"Let no man say when he is tested, I am tested by God; for it is not possible for God to be tested by evil, and he himself puts no man to such a test: But every man is tested when he is turned out of the right way by the attraction of his desire. Then when its time comes, desire gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is of full growth, gives birth to death. Do not be turned from the right way, dear brothers. Every good and true thing is given to us from heaven, coming from the Father of lights, with whom there is no change or any shade made by turning. ": James(Bible)
“Religion” does purport to answer the above questions. For example: “The bad things happening to you must be because you’re a bad person or because you have sinned, and God is punishing you.” Or, “This sickness is God testing your faith.” Or, “God allowed that tragedy to humble you and strengthen your faith.” Or, “This terrible situation is how God is breaking your pride.” In reality, such “answers” only add to man’s already unbearable burdens.
Millions of people accept such erroneous ideas, and it is not because atheists tell them so, unless perhaps they are atheistic lawyers or insurance agents who, acquiescing to the jargon of their trades, often describe many natural catastrophes as “acts of God.” Sometimes it seems that just about the only folks who don’t hold God accountable for human suffering are atheists. Well, at least they have one thing right.

We complain god for sufferings. What are sufferings? Physical pain, mental stress? Really God is responsible for all that? Are you kidding me?
If you can't control your thoughts and stress yourself, why you blame god for that. You don't have control on your mind, you can't control what thoughts comes into your mind and which thought you should entertain, if you are so weak, what god can do with it? It's you who can entertain good thoughts and dump the polluted ones. Will that not help in calming you down?
First control your body, your mind, your thoughts.
Set yourself free of the thoughts, concentrate on the actions in the present day, feel the god's grace that he gave you a life, parents and everything. He loves you thats why he gave you so much, that why you are what you are today. You could have been a worm in the drainhole or a stray dog, but he made you human because of your past doings and his love for you, REMEMBER THAT.
He gave you life, appreciate the fact and stop complaining. He made nature to teach you, to see, to feel, to nourish, but what you do is to complain about everything. This piece of cloth which you see in this 3 Dimensional world is drawn for YOU!