It' s 4 in the morning, raining outside and I am a little bit intoxicated and in the utter need of something to eat. So I am not gonna lie, but I will surely choose my words with utmost care so that nobody is offended, though it's well defined fact, 'there are levels of honesty that borders on stupidity' .
What to write! either i can write about the friends that left the campus, or are going to leave it soon. Those smiling faces/masks, who on Face-book and Gmail statuses miss their friends like hell but in reality actually misses the time of gossiping and back biting. Or I can write about romance in the air, morning dipped in abiding romance, mesmerizing light shower, peacocks squeaking loud, silence every where as if a girl has down poured her long soft hairs on the face of her lover. Or i can write about some highly complex topic, some complex phenomena in physics or mathematics. Or I can write about any boiling political topic, as there are so many nowadays, anti-corruption campaign, black money, Lok-pal bill ,etc. 
Lets get started, I am gonna write about everything in short.
Friends, Few Relations In Earth Never Die! huh, is that so? I think it should be like "Very Few Relations", for others keep on cultivating the relation, give your best, expect nothing, then only they will never die. I am lucky enough to have very few good friends, although they are hundreds of miles away from me. I love to read FB status messages about friendship, people liking it, "miss you too", "spent a lovely time with you", but I haven't seen a single status stating that " I hate you for making so much noise when I use to sleep" or " I feel like killing you when you use to disturb me during my exams" or "I am so relieved that you are finally gone, now I don't have to listen to your senseless talks". They can discuss that with their friends in latched rooms, but on FB see how nice they are.
 Now it's about weather. Quite a romantic one though! light shower, silence everywhere which is getting shattered by the sound of winds and murmuring of leaves, no artificiality anywhere, everything so lively so energizing! But what's the use! I am here in my lab, have to submit the work within deadlines, keeping the importance of my words "sir i am very dedicated towards work, always completes my work within deadlines". No regrets, I am enjoying this too.
Now the turn of highly complex topic! well this is my favorite, I can write a book over this. Leave it! I don't feel shame to say this rather presumptuously that I am leaving it because half of the intellectual sect is not going to understand it.
I am an indian citizen, having my duties towards it, so Mera Bharat Mahan, sau me se Ninyanwe beimaan. Nevertheless , these leaders are there to save our ass, what we are doing? sitting in AC offices, or in our rooms, canteens, discussing the daily updates, criticizing the governments acts and again updating the FB statuses. Gate pe Daaru piike chilla sakte hai ki hume aage badhke kuch karna chahiye, hum desh ke yuva hai, subah tak nasha utarte hi sab bhool jate hai.
I hope no-one is offended by this, and if some one is allegedly pointed out in this, Go to hell, I don care! 
I remember once someone gave me an advice "learn to say what other wants to hear" . Do you really think it works? yes it do in most of the cases. That no doubt raises the expectations associated, but who cares!, at the present moment it make things work really well. But sometimes it is necessary to live for myself, without giving a damn to what others think and say.
Sorry, no abstract discussion!it's always a simple philosophy which can be grasped from any book store in less than 500 Rs.
Gudmorning to all you beautiful people out there.
have fun and enjoy your lives, without peeping into others,
live and let others live, but help others that will at least lessen your burden of sins.keep smiling and try to make others happy also.

o baanwre...

fly away...

i was happy,I was delighted..
i was sad,I was heavyhearted..
i was alone,i was frightened..
it was night, shadows darkened..
time passing by
last moment saying goodbye,
This was how its all going on,
it was perfect,why should I move on.

Rohan's days were going as usual, in the morning he used to get up earlier than alarm clock,breakfast,then job,he was altogether entangled in all these cobwebs. At office, different people with different mindsets used to accompany him, some with pretty horrendous faces, while others with the similar instincts. In the evening while coming back to home,Rohan used to visit the old ruined castle, that prevailing silence was very much soothing and relaxing for him. This was how his life was going on. During the past few years I have been watching Rohan, he did change a lot, no doubt in that. But nevertheless change is for good, good for whom?his family, his career or for others, answer of this question only Rohan can answer.
But destiny, one word which can change any body's life, was having something veiled for Rohan,it is conspiring something with the hidden intention, a player up above in skies must be looking at this boy, with a game in his mind, nobody knows what was that, how it is going to affect Rohan's life?
One fine morning, as usual Rohan woke up earlier than the alarm clock, smiled at himself, as if won a race with time.It was dark out, 5 o clock in the morning, sounds of few bikes and cars very far away,running,honking without caring about anybody else. His day used to start with a full mug of coffee, but what is it this time? just a glass of water. Thinking about something, pre-occupied, contained, he again came to bed, and slipped in the blanket and within few minutes went back to sleep again. That was the first time I saw him like that. Tick-tock, tick-tock, clock was moving at its own pace.It struck 5:30 then 6:00. Darkness outside faded away with the first rays of the orange ball.
Suddenly a sweet little bird hopped on the balcony of his bedroom, this sweet little creature, busy in her own world, with her own aura, spreading a strange happiness in the environment, enlightening the room with her own persona, singing in her own voice, chirping without any worldly tensions and barriers, must have came from a very far land full of happiness and smiles. She hopped from one end to other, flew to the wind charm, swinging on it, landed on the table, with this 'noise', which was the daily routine for the cute little one, broke his sleep. No matter what others are thinking, others are doing, she was busy doing what was fascinating her. Rohan slowly opened up his eyes, looking at that bird strangely. He kept himself busy for few minutes observing the fascinating acts of the bird, smiling and thinking something.In the meanwhile she was busy doing her things, with no idea that someone was watching her so carefully. With a smile, Rohan shook his head, as if trying to wake up from the dreams and making up his mind for the daily routine. While he was preparing his breakfast, and putting it on the breakfast table, the little beautiful species was busy playing all around with his gadgets on his table, sometimes searching for something, sometimes staring at the alien things trying to understand what they can be, during all this Rohan was keeping an eye on the bird. While having his breakfast, a sudden thought came to his mind, he looked around at the walls at the floor,"this room was same as it was before, but today it appears to me as if it is filled with a strange energy, without any reason I am smiling and am ready to start my day with a new enthusiasm, what's the reason for this?"
A sweet voice broke the silence, again the naughty little one's, chirping sweetly down the floor.Rohan smiled as his all questions had been answered. With a deep sigh of satisfaction, that bird gave a completely different overview of happiness to Rohan in just some minutes,Rohan thought if she could stay with him for some day, it could change his life, could make it better, and he could also take care of that little creature who always had a fear of getting hunted by the hawk flying above in skies.
"Will u be with me for sometime?",Rohan asked her suddenly softly thinking she would fly away. Silence, Long pause....
All naughty acts were stopped, no popping, no chirping, no singing, she was startled by the question, looked outside the window, then again back to the room, then at Rohan, as if trying to choose one option out of many choices. She slowly opened her little wings, took a little flight to the window, looked back at Rohan smiling. Opposite of what he expected, she popped in the room from the window, as if inspecting it, searching for something with the bright wide open eyes, then in her voice replied "Yes I will". Rohan was so delighted with that positive reply, he smiled back and went back to his daily work. Both of them had their first breakfast together, he gave her pieces of bread he prepared for himself, but no conversations exchanged, just looking at each other, as if trying to figure out each other and analysing. Then he got ready and went to work, but this time I have seen Rohan unlike before, a strange enthusiasm was there, a strange quest, something was there that was bothering me. On his way back to home, he purchased some grains and other products for his new guest, hoping that she would like it. Opened up the room, eyes searching for the little one,'where is she?', she suddenly turned up from the wings of the fan, as if trying to give him a surprise. They talked about they spent the whole day, what they did, strange incidents, even i was just watching this game of the 'maker'.
From that day, Rohan's schedule changed, he himself changed, now I used to find him smiling while gazing at the horizon, while preparing dinner, it was like as if he was satisfied with what he had now. Days passed, months passed, but their senseless talks never ended, every time they met they started talking endlessly. Rohan used to tell her stories about his past job, his last apartment, his hometown, while the bird used to tell him about her far island , her family, friends.
But this happiness had brought few tweaks with it. Every story is not perfect, but I knew that even if this story is not perfect, it is not going to fade away just like that.
One day whie driving to his office, in front of his desk, one thought was haunting his mind,"Should I keep her in cage? no, this sweet little creature turned to me by her own choice,I will not put bounds to her freedom.I gave her food, played with her, she kept on singing since morning to dawn, chirping all day long, always in her own world. It was like a zephyr for me after long hectic day, everyday I use to talk to her, sing with her, her meaningless stories, about her far island, about her colleagues, about the hawk which once attacked it and she managed to escape, I will not put her in cage, but what if she flew away, what if she one day left without even saying a bye, no matter what happens i will not put her in cage, she is a free creature, she is meant to spread happiness, 'it is by chance we met, it is by luck we became friends, now it will be by destiny what happens next'" . After reaching home, he was silent, the bird softly asked"is something wrong? was your boss hard on you today? I missed you". With her few words and that soft voice, Rohan forgot all those weird thoughts and smiled, and they as usual sat together and exchanged conversation till the sounds of TVs near by faded and the lights of other apartments switched off. But that thought was still in his mind. This was disturbing me and Rohan both, I was disturbed because I have never seen him so possessive and selfish in years, and he was disturbed thinking that this was the first time he hided something from her, from her who told everything so frankly to him without a single sign of hesitation. Hours swept by, days. One day Rohan came back from office, she was still busy chirping and singing. Rohan went close to her to play with, they talked, they sang loudly, they ate together, then she slept.Rohan as usual came upto his desk, thinking he could do some work. While looking at her,Rohan realized she was not meant to be here, she meant to be there in skies, in her far island, flying free of worries. This thought kept on haunting him the whole night, she was sleeping without even knowing what was going in his mind. It was once again a fine morning. She woke up as usual early. She looked at him , smiled and continued with her chirping. Rohan gathered all of his strength and fired what I never expected and what he never wanted to say to her,"i think its time you should leave, your friends, your people must be waiting for you"
She surprisingly looked at him, shocked, astonished, a drop of tear, silence all over."you stayed with me,I enjoyed, but you don't belong here, you are a part of my life, and imminent part a distinguished part which i can never forget, but I think its time for you to go", he was rude, and after saying this he went to the other room, kind of escaping from the situation. Hearing this, she wiped off her tears, controlled herself, and this was the first time all of that sweetness and charming chirping was gone, she flew to the room where Rohan was sitting and his eyes were red and full of tears, replied in her voice,"you unlike others never bothered to put me in cage, never thought to slaughter me,I stayed here because I got a friend like never before, with whom I enjoyed a completely different world,i learnt to swing on your wind charm,I use to hop all over this new place you never stopped me",suddenly Rohan interrupted,"but you don't belong here", She smiled and continued again,"we are from completely different worlds, completely different but did that ever came between us when we use to eat together, sing together, laugh together", then thinking something, as if finding words to say, she flew back to the next room left him alone.
Rohan left for work and the complete day he thought that when he would reach home, it's going to be empty again, no sound of chirping and laughter. During his drive back to home, he stopped his car in front of groccery store with the habit of buying something for her, but then he realized that he should change this habit now. Reached the building, parked his car and slowly climbed the stairs, with heavy heart he opened the lock, "what, she is still here, how come, didn't she, it must be...", he was so delighted to see her on the balcony window. She looked back, smiled and hopped a little, and flew to his shoulders, but no words exchanged. They enjoyed their dinner once again as any other day.
In the evening while Rohan was in the next room doing his work, bird was busy watching the skies and thinking about what he said, no chirping no songs. She called Rohan while sitting on the window.
Rohan, standing near the door, smiling. She was sitting at the window heavy winds outside.
"I will come back to you one day, bye, see you soon" and she flew away, without even looking back,left Rohan astonished, shocked, stoned.

koi tumse puche kaun hu mai?

 

Koi tumse puche kaun hu main?

tum keh dena koi khas nhi..

ek dost hai kachcha pakka sa,

Ek jhut hai aadha sachcha sa,

Jazbaat ke mann pe ek parda sa,

Bas ek bahana achcha sa..

Jo paas hokar bhi paas nhi..

Par usse chupa koi raaz nhi..

Koi tumse puche kaun hu main?
tum keh dena koi khas nhi..

Akhiri Khwaahish

ek raat ek farishta neend se jaga ke bola

"maang ae bande teri aakhiri ichcha kya hai"

ek pal ko to jahaan tham sa gaya

sochke,dil hil gaya

fir maine khudse pucha

"Itni jaldi!"

"akhir meri saza kya hai?"

wo un andhere galiyaaro me se fir bola,

"akhiri saans lene se pehle,

palke humesha ke liye moondne se pehle,

kya kisi sapne ko poora karna hai chahta?

kya chahat hai teri, kya hai armaan,

Kya hai jo apne jiwan se hai chahta?

Kis manzil tak chahta hai jana?

ya kisi galti ko chahta hai sudharna?"

fir maine khud se pucha

aatm-sameeksha kar man ne batlaya,

ek arthheen, be-maksad,

bhautik sukhoo me lipt jeevan

antheen ichchaaye, hazaroo khwahishe,

yahi sochte hue ek aansu jhalak aya,

khud ko shaant kar main bola

"Bahut si chhoti-chhoti cheezein

Ek boond paani

Ek lamha pyar

Ek katra vishwas

Ek pal ki shanti

Ek chain ki saans

Ghadi bhar ka saath

Ek shaant muskaan

Ek khushi ka daan

Ek gham ka nidan

Ek rasta anjaan

Aur EK PEHCHAAN"

sunke meri baat,farista muskuraya

"maang liya poora jahan

in choti choti ichchaoo me

ab tak kya kar rha tha,

so rha tha kya insaan?

jee le kuch aur pal,

kar le poore apne armaan"

Muthhi mein ek sagar thama ke

Mujhe mera rasta dikha ke

Dekar aur ek mauka, farishta woh mera

Gayab yoon hua, ki nazar bhi na aya

Ek pal ko thamke, fir maine mudke

Muskarati zindagi apni se kaha

"Tune mujhe ek naam ek wajood diya tha kabhi

Aj tera karz utaarne ka samay hai aya"

17 Again!

This segment just arose from a weird thought, after i saw the movie 17 Again. It was all about a middle aged man who returned miraculously back to his teenage, where he corrected the mistakes, he made earlier, to set things right.
we all set priorities in life, we all do it knowingly or unknowingly, whether it is career or it is personal life. A folk is also there which just live their lives with no priorities, even they have a one.

I at this age, realized, rather admit, that I too did some mistakes in my past, whose impact are coming up now. But what i should do about today and tomorrow, the mistakes I am making today are going to shine in near future, they can petty ones or can be one, with the deep impact. I will not get a second chance, Then?? what should I do? How will i know at this point of time that I am committing a mistake? Maybe according to my intellect I am making a perfect decision now, but it is not! Assume there are two choices, 1 can take me to skies, and 2nd one just like that, slow steady types. Which one to chooose??maybe the first one can take me high and then after few years i will regret why i made this choice, and the 2nd one which seems to be slow and static, will going to boost me up beyond limits. So how should I decide?
May be you won't find it much appealing if you are satisfied with your life, with your deeds, but if you are not, i am sure your vote will surely go to me.

Behavior vs Process

Lets analyze two entirely informal examples of instructions a mother may give to her little daughter.

1) How to make a sandwich:Take a loaf of bread. Cut two slices from it. Spread butter evenly on one side of each. Put a slice of ham on one buttered slice of bread. Put on the other. Add some sliced tomatoes. Fold the two together.
2) What to do in the afternoon: You may watch TV. If you get hungry make yourself a sandwich. When it gets dark switch on the lights.When your father calls tell him I went out shopping and should be back by 1 hour.

Now what are the essential differences between the two kinds of instructions?

Any process instruction is intrinsically sequential.Take this into account that its sequentiality is not merely a matter of the write-up, it cannot be separated from the "physics" of the process; one cannot butter the slices before they are cut from the loaf, and in a properly made sandwich, cheese is put on after the buttering is completed.
A behavior instruction has no intrinsic sequentiality in it (apart from "local" sequentiality in executing individual actions, such as making a sandwich). For a process, there is a well-defined initial state (explicit or implicit, does not matter), a progression of steps, each bringing an overall goal a little closer, and hopefully a final step in which the goal is achieved. Actions that constitute the process are expected to be executed in a state established by their predecessors. There is no clear cut initial state for a behavior, no goal. No action is expected to happen unless its "guarding" condition is established, but individual action need not be responsible for establishing the conditions propitious for other actions.

The individual actions are in fact reactions to certain conditions that may have arisen, rather than steps aimed at establishing conditions for possible future actions. A behavior is defined in terms of reactions to the "current" environment. The guarding conditions are evaluated in states which are not assumed to be the results of the "past" behavior. Indeed, the analysis of the "historical trace" hardly ever helps in the analysis of "current" behavior, the "past" need not influence the "present" at all, Thats where forecasting fails! The little girl may get hungry regardless of whether it gets dark out or not (On the other hand, the analysis of the collection of past events, i.e. associations of conditions with reactions, may be very helpful; it is the sequence of past events that is largely irrelevant and may be misleading).

To be continued....

Some nice Clicks !!

continued...

Choices Vs Opportunity

J. K. Rowling said, "It is our choices... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Choices, always preferred over living in a restricted room. Opportunity, a big word to say, are you lucky enough to get a one? Choices can be made, however opportunities crosses your path and if you are clever you can grab a one, otherwise you are a loser.
What if you are capable enough to generate opportunities? What if choices are like lying in front of you like marbles on ground and a child playing with it? How about an idea, which can change things, which can generate a lot of opportunities, which can put so many fucking choices?
An idea, a seed which if sown and perfectly reaped can turn the future, can raise standards.


Well stated by James E. Faust, "Some of our important choices have a time line. If we delay a decision, the opportunity is gone forever. Sometimes our doubts keep us from making a choice that involves change. Thus an opportunity may be missed."

Guilty, who will decide?

What have i done? Am i supposed to do all this to her? Who gave me the right to do so?
You are guilty,
No i am not,
Yes you are!

Unable to say, Unable to express, unable to tell, just letting it as it is, This is surely not the solution. It's no more a child's play.
You are guilty,
No, please I am not,
Yes you are!

Took the responsibility, now running away from it. Always going for better is not the way life is lead surely.
You are guilty,
No, please I am not,
Yes you are!